Life Empowerment & Leadership Career StrategistSuzannah Kelly
People may call what happens a “midlife’s crisis” but it’s not. It’s an unraveling – a time when you feel a desperate pull to live the life you want to live, not the life you’re “supposed” to live. The unraveling is a time when you are challenged by the universe to let go of who you think you are supposed to be and to embrace who you are.
Brené Brown
I am a Human Resources Executive and a Certified Executive Leadership Development, Career Coach and Life Coach. I use my training and certifications in positive psychology, human flourishing, resilience and mental health as well as my long career focused on building dynamic workplace cultures and inspiring employee experiences to inform my coaching services.
All we really ever want, whether at home, at work, in our relationships…is to be seen, to be heard, to love, be loved and make a difference. That’s it! My own journey to standing firmly in my life and career was not a straight road but I’ve learned a lot along the way and my job, passion and purpose now is to be able to share it with you!
I moved to Canada from the UK in the early nineties with a university degree in History and English under my belt and not much more. My first administrative jobs lasted a couple of years as I navigated a new homeland and floundered wondering what to do with my career and what to do with my life. Back to school, head down, hard work, pleasing everyone and sacrificing parts of myself along the way led to new roles of increasing responsibility in Human Resources.
Year over year, the next project, the next presentation, the next promotion…pressure, stress – rinse and repeat. I climbed my way through and to my HR Executive career, financial security and independence. I THOUGHT I FINALLY HAD IT ALL! BIG TITLE, BIG JOB! I COULD TAKE CARE OF IT ALL NOW!
And alongside the career climb, marriage, childbirth, divorce and the dissolution of my newly created little family. Hopes, dreams, wishes – all gone without warning but not before they broke me with their bright, sharp, searing reminders of what could have been. And what did I do? I kept going! I was Superwoman – Executive Leader, Role Model Mama, Dutiful Daughter and so it went on and on and on until one day – two whole decades later (call that MIDLIFE)…I actually listened to the quiet voice inside me that kept telling me how deeply unhappy I was, how unfulfilled I was with my career, even though I enjoyed the work, how dissatisfied I was with the relationship dynamics I had allowed to be present in my life for so long, how fed up I was at having to be silent and compliant in so many areas of my life and how afraid I was to rock the boat and displease anyone (because “be nice, be polite and play by the rules” – that’s what “they” told us women do!). IT WAS TIME TO MAKE A CHANGE AND CHANGE I DID IN ALL AREAS OF MY LIFE
The moment you can’t take another minute more, is the moment you’ll decide to make a change. Perhaps this is your moment and that’s why you’re here.
I got clear on what I wanted for the next chapter of my life, invested in myself and put myself through the same methodology I’m sharing with you. The result was:
- I started speaking up – unafraid of my own voice or the reaction of others.
- I stopped overthinking everything and started trusting myself and my decisions!
- I changed my physical environment to create a new space that was inspiring and brought me joy every day
- I re-established my position in relationships putting myself on equal footing
- I got selective about “my friends” and made some tough decisions
- I filled my time with a long buried passion and found joy in the day to day again
- I repositioned my career to be one in service of me instead of me in service of it
And guess what? I started showing up in my life and at work more powerfully, more decisively, and with more impact and engagement and satisfaction. Happier all around and happier more often!
Change is not easy. There were many points along the way where I thought this life journey might break me. It required every last drop of my courage but I came to see how much more beautiful and freeing life could be on the other side of my fears and I hope you will too.
The Japanese expression Kintsugi says, after hardship or adversity we can be remade even more beautifully and stronger than before. (Kintsugi is the Japanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold — built on the idea that in embracing flaws and imperfections, you can create an even stronger, more beautiful piece of art. Every break is unique and instead of repairing an item like new, the 400-year-old technique actually highlights the “scars” as a part of the design. Using this as a metaphor for healing ourselves teaches us an important lesson:
Sometimes in the process of repairing things that have broken, we actually create something more unique, beautiful and resilient.
Tiffany Ayuda.
And sometimes that thing can be your life. We are never lost – we are buried
Suzannah Kelly, Certified Career Coach